🌈 Queering Relationships: Expanding our Understanding of Artificial Intimacies & Tech
Ethan Freedman (2024)
Page 1 (Front Cover):
✨ Queering Relationships:
Artificial Intimacies & Tech
A creative journey exploring technology’s influence on intimacy, sexuality, relationships, and queerness.
by Ethan Freedman (2024)
Page 2: Welcome to Your Queer Tech Journey 🌟
Technology profoundly reshapes how we experience intimacy, love, and sexuality. From AI chatbots to dating apps, we’re experiencing relationships differently than ever before.
- 🤖 But are these changes positive?
- 📱 Can tech truly enhance intimacy, or does it risk losing human connection?
In this zine, let’s critically reflect on and queer our understandings of intimacy through technology.
Page 3: Intimacy—Beyond Physical Touch 💬
Intimacy is more than just physical connection. It includes:
- Emotional closeness and vulnerability
- Mutual trust and understanding
- Meaningful, authentic connections
(Kafaee & Kohut, n.d.; Janning et al., 2018)
✨ Reflect:
How has technology changed the ways you personally experience intimacy?
Page 4: What Exactly is a Relationship? 🫶
Relationships are deeper than simply being together. They involve:
- Emotional bonds & commitment
- Mutual care and reliance on each other
- Shared values and experiences
(Haas & Lannutti, 2021; Janning et al., 2018)
🤔 Ask yourself:
Can relationships formed online hold the same emotional depth as those formed face-to-face? Why or why not?
Page 5: Sexual Technologies—What Are They? 🔥
Sexual Technologies include digital tools designed to enhance intimacy, such as:
- Sexting & virtual intimacy apps
- AI chatbots & digital companions
- Realistic sex dolls (“Allodolls”)
- Pornography & virtual reality experiences
(Depointi et al., 2023; Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018; Lehmiller, 2020)
✍️ Your Thoughts:
Which of these technologies have you encountered, and what impact have they had on your perspectives or relationships?
Page 6: Tech-Enhanced Sex Education 📚
Modern sex education goes beyond traditional classrooms. Now, it includes:
- Online chatbots answering personal questions
- AI-based sexual wellness advice
- Digital platforms discussing consent, boundaries, and pleasure
(Freedman, 2024; Nadarzynski et al., 2020)
🔍 Consider:
Do you trust digital resources for sensitive topics like sexual health and consent? Why or why not?
Page 7: Why Queer Relationships & Tech? 🌈✨
To queer is to challenge traditional expectations about gender, sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. It involves:
- Rejecting binaries (male/female, gay/straight)
- Redefining what counts as a “real” relationship
- Embracing fluidity and complexity
(Pfeffer, 2017; Lantaffi, 2011)
✊ Consider:
How can technology help you queer your own understanding of intimacy?
Page 8: Sexting as Queer Intimacy 📲💕
Sexting redefines intimacy, especially for couples separated physically. Benefits include:
- Enhanced sexual communication and openness
- Maintaining emotional closeness despite distance
- Safe exploration of fantasies and desires
(Kafaee & Kohut, n.d.)
📝 Reflect:
Could sexting strengthen your connections or enhance your self-expression? Why or why not?
Page 9: Love Across Screens 🌍❤️
Virtual platforms like video chats and messages create meaningful intimacy by:
- Bridging physical distances emotionally
- Allowing for deeper self-disclosure and communication
- Challenging ideas about “real” presence and closeness
(Janning et al., 2018)
🎤 Prompt:
Share or write down a memorable moment of digital intimacy that felt meaningful to you.
Page 10: Allodolls—Companionship Beyond Humans 🤖❤️
“Allodolls” are realistic humanoid dolls that offer companionship beyond sex. They:
- Provide emotional support and comfort
- Alleviate loneliness and anxiety
- Challenge the human-centered norms of relationships
(Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018)
🌟 Reflect:
Would you consider forming a connection with a non-human companion? How does this idea feel to you?
Page 11: Critically Queering AI “Girlfriends” 🚫📵
AI girlfriend bots often unintentionally reinforce:
- Gender stereotypes (passive, accommodating)
- Male control and fantasies of dominance
- Unrealistic ideals of femininity disguised as customization
(Depointi et al., 2023)
🚨 Discuss:
How can we design AI relationships to resist, rather than reinforce, harmful gender norms?
Page 12: AI, Dating Apps & Consent ✅💬
AI in dating apps can actively foster consent by:
- Prompting explicit communication about boundaries
- Normalizing safety and respect, especially for LGBTQ+ and marginalized users
- Reducing misunderstandings and fostering healthier interactions
(Furlo et al., 2021)
💡 Reflect:
How comfortable are you discussing boundaries online? Could tech encourage healthier dating experiences?
Page 13: Ethical Pornography—A Complex Conversation 🎥⚖️
Pornography holds potential to educate, but it’s ethically complicated. AI can help by:
- Identifying consensual, ethical content
- Reducing exposure to exploitative or harmful material
- Encouraging critical thinking about sexuality representations
(Lehmiller, 2020; Freedman, 2024)
📢 Express:
Do you think porn can be used ethically as education? Under what conditions?
Page 14: Queer Resistance to Ethical Issues ✊⚡️
Queer resistance involves critical questions about tech like:
- How sex dolls may objectify rather than liberate
- Privacy and empathy limits of AI chatbots
- Ensuring digital intimacy respects consent, diversity, and agency
(Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018; Nadarzynski et al., 2020, 2021)
🌈 Challenge:
List three actions we can take to ensure intimacy tech remains ethical and inclusive.
Page 15: Imagining Queer & Ethical Tech Futures 🌠🌈
Let’s create technologies that:
- Destigmatize sexuality education
- Amplify marginalized voices and experiences
- Foster safe, inclusive, consent-based interactions
(Young et al., 2021; Freedman, 2024)
✍️ Vision:
Imagine a queer-positive future with tech. Describe or sketch what you see.
Page 16 (Back Cover): Your Call to Action & Reflection 🎉📚
Artificial Intimacies Are Ours to Queer!
🌟 Your Role:
- Engage critically with technology
- Advocate for inclusive intimacy
- Continue questioning and queering norms!
Resources & Inspirations: (Freedman, 2024; Depointi et al., 2023; Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018; Lehmiller, 2020; Pfeffer, 2017; Lantaffi, 2011; Janning et al., 2018; Kafaee & Kohut, n.d.; Furlo et al., 2021; Alexander & Yescavage, 2018; Young et al., 2021; Nadarzynski et al., 2020, 2021; Haas & Lannutti, 2021; Tree-McGrath et al., 2018)
✨ Final Reflection:
Write down your takeaway from this zine:
“___________________________”